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Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Talking Mezuzah (Something I’m Working On)

Mezuzah Sketch w Shin, Bad
Early mezuzah sketch with Shin. Bad design, disregard.
Needs work.  Hi, Kenton! (Kenton has expressed interest in helping me with the electronics.)
Lips 2
You approach the house.  Kiss the first two fingers of your right hand and touch them to the mezuzah on the doorpost. It's in the shape of a human mouth, crafted from soft, pliant silicone plastic.  A touch-sensitive pressure switch activates a circuit which plays back two audio files through a speaker, hidden behind the mezuzah's lips.
  1. Voice of your favorite Tzaddik*:  [whispered] "Shaddai"
  2. Your mother's voice: [maybe a little bit shrill] "Ugh, that thing is all fershmutzik, covered with other peoples' germs! Get inside and wash your hands this instant! Wait! Wipe your feet! You'd think you were brought up in a barn."
*...and for an extra $19.99 per year, you can upgrade to Mezuzah Platinum with exclusive Tzaddik only service.
Mezuzah Mockup
…so we’re going to need voice talent.  I’m thinking of rebbe Bauer for the Tzaddik.  The Jewish mother?  Well, Babs is gone, and that’s a shame.  But Meg is a Jewish Mother.  As is Andrea. And her mom, Vivian.  And, recently arguably Kenton’s mom Ann.  And Ann Pereles. Who am I forgetting? Marni? Oma? Lynne-Rachel!  And perhaps Peter could be a second Tzaddik.  Mustn't rule out the possibility of a Tzaddikin voice, as well.

mezuzah _schematic_ 3 copy
Working drawing. What the circuitry does

There's a blue LED which fades on and off every three seconds or so.

Here's how it might look in action.

5/13 12 Whoa—This Prior Art just in from the Holy Land:
New from the Holy Land
Guess what Dude Illigence just bought!

Also, here’s our first customer:
Talking Rosary Article

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