Carpeting

Carpeting, originally uploaded by dumbeast.

Outside the office of an insufferable putz.

Civilization and Its Discontents

Kim Hung Jewelry, originally uploaded by dumbeast.

Replace watch battery. Five dollars.

This was after the place two doors to the left sold me a battery that didn't work. Well, it worked part of the time. It just didn't always work.

After some dealing, they agreed to buy the bad battery back. No, not for two dollars. No, even though it's no longer in the package. I bought it for five dollars, and I'm selling it back to you for five dollars.

Thank you.

After the A's Game 2

After the A's Game 2, originally uploaded by dumbeast.

The score was a set of two integers. Something to something. They were both positive integers.

After the A's Game 1

After the A's Game 1, originally uploaded by dumbeast.

Well, after a number of innings. The number was an integer.

--From the Coliseum BART platform

Pearl Admires My Handiwork...

Pearl Admires My Handiwork..., originally uploaded by dumbeast.

... on a tiny crochet hat. But she's not going to go all overboard about it or anything.... Nope, that is one cat who is able to control her enthusiasm. Neither willy nor nilly, that one. Unless there's a problem with her water glass. Or the closet door is closed, and she can't go in for an inspection tour. Or her brother looks too comfortable or something.

*Squaaauk!*

Ray Hoisted

Ray Hoisted, originally uploaded by dumbeast.

Photo by Mary Jane Foran, who would like it to be made clear that Ray enjoys this game. He's not being abused. Honest.

Billing

Billing

Watch the video

The back of my neck always knots up, first week of the month. This most boring flip movie you'll ever see doesn't begin to explain why.

Sunflowers

Sunflowers, originally uploaded by dumbeast.

...in a vase.

Pearl's Red Dot

Pearl's Red Dot, originally uploaded by dumbeast.

...on my dicatphone, which could buy and sell me three times before breakfast.

Stamps

Stamps, originally uploaded by dumbeast.

Cork, epoxy, alphabet pasta

alphabet pasta

alphabet pasta, originally uploaded by dumbeast.

From Foodvale, East 14th at Fruitvale

Sketch

Sketch, originally uploaded by dumbeast.

For initialling return envelopes

Also Knave-like

Also Knave-like, originally uploaded by dumbeast.

All day long, balls kept flying at my head.

Sometimes I feel, sometimes I feel,
Like I been tied to the whipping post
Tied to the whipping post,
Tied to the whipping post,
Good lord, I feel like I’m dyin’.*

Well, it's probably not as bad as all that. For instance, the situation doesn't call on me to climb up that recently dynamited slide zone yonder and dislodge them boulders with this here crowbar, nor to handle the dead. At least it hasn't yet.

____________________________________
*Allman Brothers Band — “Whipping Post”
Marcel Duchamp — Nine Malic Moulds from “The Large Glass”

Alvin

Alvin, originally uploaded by dumbeast.

This little clump of hair on the left side of my head is always sticking up in the morning when I wake up. We call it an 'Alvin' for reasons that are lost to me now. It must be the fastest growing hair on my head. It's always been a mystery.

I've got a theory about it now. It occurred to me that, if I was the type to comb over, that's where I'd be looking for material. My theory is that I probably come from a long line of comb-overers, and some genetic program is causing that hair to keep on trying.

Good luck to that!

Words that resemble "knave."

Words that resemble "knave.", originally uploaded by dumbeast.

As in:

• "Curb your tongue, knave."

• "Keep a weather eye on that varlet, or he'll steal you blind, God wot."

• "I was reluctantly compelled to thrash the impudent jackanapes with a taxidermied otter."